WARNING:

This post will contain much mushiness so if you don't like that WELL TOO BAD! Hahaha, well, seriously though, I am feeling very sentimental. Must be the coming birthdays of my babies. Add with that the fact that I just heard the only song that makes me cry everytime I hear it and there you go, I am choking on sentimentality. What song could possibly do this to me you may wonder... It won't be like this for long by Darius Rucker (Blowfish turned country star). I remember when I was pregnant with Addison and I was watching the CMT top 20 countdown. The music video for this came on and I pretty much bawled my head off. 1/2 pregnancy hormones and 1/2 being a mother and already experiencing some of what he talks about with my first baby. okay okay, incase you've never heard the song, here are the lyrics:

He didn't have to wake up
he'd been up all night
lying there in bed listenin
to his new born baby cry
he made a pot of coffe
and splashed some water on his face
his wife gives him a kiss and says
it's gonna be okay

It won't be like this for long
one day soon we'll look back laughin
at the week we brought her home
this phase is gonna fly by
so baby just hold on
It won't be like this for long

4 years later about 4:30
she's crawling in their bed
and when he drops her off at preschool
she's clinging to his leg
the teacher peels her off of him
he says what can I do
she says now don't you worry
this will only last a week or two

It won't be like this for long
one day soon you'll drop her off
and she won't even know your gone
this phase is gonna fly by
if you can just hold on
It won't be like this for long

one day soon she'll be a teenager
and at times he'll think she hates him
then he'll walk her down the isle
and he'll raise her veil
but right now she's up and cryin
and the truth is that he don't mind
and he kisses her goodnight
and she says her prayers
he lays down there beside her
till her eyes are finally closed
and just watching her it breaks his heart
cause he already knows

It won't be like this for long
one day soon that little girl is gonna be
all grown up and gone
ya this phase is gonna fly by
he's tryin to hold on
but it won't be like this for long

Okay, there it is. The song that get's me everytime. And here's why:

1. I can remember vividly bringing both of my kids home from the hospital and what it felt like. The joys of it and the stresses of it. I remember thinking how hard things were (even though I had very few sleepless nights because my babies were angels, hahaha). But, there were other stresses besides no sleep. You feel like you are never going to get through it. but, you do, and then you look back and miss those days when your baby was so small and you could just stay up at night holding them.
2. I remember the first day that I dropped Matthew off at preschool and his teacher literally had to peel him off of me. I left crying. I felt horrible for leaving him there like that and so frustrated that he was acting that way. I thought for sure that that was never going to change but it did only last a week or two. And now... most times I take him, he doesn't even say bye or notice that I leave. He just runs in to play with his friends and see his teacher.
3. It makes me think of me and my dad. When I was a teenager I am sure that there were so many times that my dad felt like I hated him. Probably because I was awful to him (and my mom). I remember how disrespectful I was and how I thought that he was just out to ruin my life. The truth is, no matter how rude I was, I loved my dad more than anything. I would yell and scream and slam my door and then go in my room and cry because I was so mad at myself for acting that way. But, of course, I couldn't let my dad see that. I couldn't let him "win". Its funny how things turn out. Back then I just wanted to get out. Be on my own and away from my parents. Now, I can't get enough of them. I don't know what I would ever do with out them. I love my mom and dad so much. They have done so much for me through out my entire life and continue to surprise me with their generosity and love.
4. It makes me think of when my kids will be teenagers someday. I used to be terrified of those times. And, don't get me wrong, I am still terrified BUT I am also going to look forward to those times and cherish them. I am going to cherish it all. Even now, Addison can drive me nuts with how clingy she is to me but who knows how long that will last and someday she'll be the opposite. she'll just want to get away. maybe she'll think I'm "ruining" her life. I am promising myself that from now on I am soaking up every phase that my kids go through. good or bad. I am going to live in the moment and never forget any of it.

Well, that's a lot to get from one song eh? sometimes certain things just make you think.


When Matthew was first born



When Addison was first born



Me and my dad :)